When did you become adoptive parents?
We adopted our first children (twin daughters) in 2005 and our passion grew from there. We now have 8 children, including 1 biological child.
What are the disability or high medical needs of your adoptive children?
Several of our adopted children have a disability or high medical needs, including Spina Bifida, Autism, ADHD, Intellectual Impairment, Club Feet, Neurogenic Bladder, Multicystic Kidneys, Thalassemia, Arnold Chiari Syndrome and Microdeletion 17q12.
Why did you choose to adopt children with a disability or high medical needs?
In the beginning, it was simply because we knew that children with a disability or high medical needs were more difficult to place and this broke our hearts. We could not bear to think that a child could miss out on having a loving family simply because of their extra special qualities. We just couldn’t think of a reason or excuse good enough not to try.
We did our research and really talked together a lot about it, until we felt really confident in our ability to handle whatever issue might come our way. Our first adoption was simply fabulous and we realised that often what holds us back is fear—fear of the unknown or the uncertainties. Adopting a child with a disability or high medical needs is nothing to be afraid of—there are so many more positives than challenges. Our first adoption experience was so rewarding and exceeded all our expectations, we very quickly realised that we would happily do it again, and again and again!
What does a typical week look like in your household?
Our lifestyle is best described as ‘Organised Chaos’. There is always lots of noise and chatter, plenty of activities and appointments, time schedules are tight, and there is always loads of laundry to do! However, there are so many moments that make you smile and laugh. Most outings feel like an adventure, there is always something to celebrate and we just get oodles of cuddles each day!
What are the best things about being adoptive parents of children with a disability or high medical needs?
The advantages of being parents of a child with a disability or high medical needs far outweigh the challenges. These are some of the positive experiences we have had:
- Having children with a disability or high medical needs really helps puts your priorities into perspective.
- Our children have helped us to grow into better versions of ourselves; we have found skills, strengths, patience and resilience we never knew we had!
- We appreciate everything a thousand times more and take nothing for granted.
- We share a really close and special bond. When you have been through so many challenges together and you are 100% present in everything they do, you form an unbreakable, quite magical bond.
- We find such joy and celebration in the little things, and we are optimistic about the future, especially as our children continually achieve more than was predicted.
- Our children truly inspire us, as they are always so happy and motivated to keep trying, despite all the challenges and limitations they face.
- The connections and friends we have made along the way; we have met the most inspiring and incredible people because of our children.
- Having our children has truly changed our perception of family, community and the world around us. We feel everything more deeply and we are more empathetic and sensitive to the needs of others and ourselves.
- We love seeing how compassionate and caring our children are towards each other and to others. They don’t see others from another race or disability as different or ‘less than’ themselves. Our children are kind, compassionate and celebrate the diversity in humanity.
What are some of the challenges that you face when caring for your children?
These are the challenges we have experienced on our journey:
- The unexpected trips to hospital, often at the worst possible time.
- Having to attend loads of appointments (therapy and medical), especially the ones that involve spending hours of waiting just for a 10 minute consultation.
- The more complex the diagnosis, the harder it is to get a good babysitter, so romantic dinner dates get a little more few and far between.
What would you say to someone thinking of adopting a child with a disability or high medical needs?
Do it!! Don’t be afraid of the unknown. The experience is more rewarding than you can ever imagine. Do your research but remember that most websites will always talk more about the challenges and worst case scenario of a diagnosis, rather than talking about the child as a whole person with their own individual personality and potential.
What support have you received through the National Disability Insurance Scheme?
The NDIS has been very helpful in covering most costs associated with therapy and equipment needs.
What other support is available?
- Having a fabulous and knowledgeable medical team is invaluable.
- Having friends/family that can relate and share your experience is crucial.
- There are some really useful support groups on Facebook that are a wealth of information and support.
- Local early intervention services are crucial, especially in those early formative years.